I have been involved in ministry and have come to know Christ for about 9 years (9 years in June). And I still do not believe that I am good enough for God. I can tell anyone that God loves them, cherishes them, created them, and desires them--but not me. Which is crazy and something I have been working through last year and currently and probably every single day for the rest of my earthly life.
You know, I have started on this journey in hopes of being fit and healthy and happy. I have never liked the way I look and I was/am reminded of it every day. So this has slowly become more and more about me and my insecurities. And that is where the dirty devil wants to swoop in and make this a control thing. It's day 5 and I don't feel or look any different. And in that twisted little demon's mind, he wants me to give up and believe I'll never be able to accomplish my goal. Now, I am most definitely only writing this post for me. MAURA, YOU WILL NOT LOOK DIFFERENT IN 5 DAYS. Also... Maura, you are beautiful because you were perfectly and carefully created by the God who created sunrises and sunsets.
This isn't about me. I mean it sorta is, but it's about being confident in who God made me to be. And desiring to strengthen the gift of a body where all of the parts work.
And that makes me think about the beautiful ministry of Capernaum and the work my dear friends are doing with people who have disabilities. You guys are awesome.
Anyway, that's it. I know it's a lot of rambling, but now you understand a little bit about how I think.
God is good and he loves me. Why? Because he knitted me together.
I love this Maura! You go girl! You're a great writer & I love your willingness to be vulnerable! You are so beautiful, excited for you on this journey.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kimmie!
DeleteMaura -
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong & beautiful woman and I am SO excited to root for you during your journey!
You CAN do this because you have set your mind to it and are holding yourself accountable. That is the first (and hardest step!). I know Meagan and your family will help you along and keep you on the path to a healthier you! Rock this weight loss. I know it is hard and challenging and obstacles may try and stop you but DON'T let them. Kick 2014's ass. Lift heavy things and enjoy every moment!
Let me know if you need ANYTHING!
Lots of love!
xo, Erin
Thanks Erin! My family all around is trying to eat better, so that's been great! I'm so excited for this year, it's going to be a good one!
DeleteMaura,
ReplyDeleteGod has mighty things in store for you. I know this because you have such a gift for relating to others and sharing your heart and what God has done through you! I absolutely love that you are willing to let others see where you are, revealing that it is difficult to believe God loves you. I know this is something so many of us struggle with, and when you authentically pursue godliness the way you do and remember His faithfulness to you, it ignites a passion in others to do the same, triumphing over their own insecurities, struggles and distorted views of God. I have no doubts that you will come to discover that love again and again, just as we all will, one degree of glory to the next.
Fix your gaze upon Jesus! He is our rock and redeemer. Praying for your journey, friend.
- Mollie T
Molls- thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate the encouragement. And I know God is good, and he will use the craziness of my life. It definitely takes trust to know he loves me. And it's been awesome to experience him actively pursuing my heart. Miss you friend! Hope all is well in the sunshine state... (That's Florida, right?)
Delete